Women in Leadership

I often consult brilliant women who are eager to progress in their careers only to watch sometimes much less brilliant men overtake them and get to the top of the career ladder faster. Why is that? This is so unfair, they say. Fair or not fair, this is often what happens. What are the reasons? Is it the result of a deliberate global plot of men against women? In part, may be. But this is not the root cause. The root cause are the women themselves.

Women still may tend to sabotage other women, which can be perhaps explained with competing for recognition in the men's world. If you want to be a true supporter of career women, treat them as friends and comrades, and not like enemies.

More importantly, women have traditionally been groomed to serve, to provide, to care. These are qualities, which are indispensable and highly valued in middle management positions. There, the best are those who deliver for others, who make valuable contributions, working harder and harder. These are the roles where delegating responsibilities is good, but if needed, one rolls up the sleeves and looks after the smallest details herself.

In the middle of the career ladder it is important to be the perfect executor and implementer who strives to prove herself every day and who thrives on praise and recognition. A tiny little bit of insecurity may further strengthen that quest for perfection.

In middle management positions you are expected to deliver results for the organization and to work for your boss. 

And then, the woman aspires to higher positions and is surprised that a male colleague is chosen. One of the reasons is that women often underestimate the need for identity shift. What brought you here will not take you there.

The top management identity is easily acquired by men who are groomed to expect that others care for them and that others will serve them and pamper them. Women need to learn it as they progress in their careers. It is important because this is what their teams will expect from them. The team members will crave praise and recognition and will do their best to be appreciated by their boss. 

A certain degree of selfishness is an indispensable ingredient of top leadership. Typically it is not mentioned in management books, which praise the opposite. This is because a vast majority of management books are written for men, not for women, and are aimed at developing the more caring and selfless dimensions of mostly alpha men. 

This does not imply that women who aspire to top management roles must transform themselves into selfish and narcissistic monsters. This is an overkill, which unfortunately more than a few women do. 

The solution is not black or white, but rather a carefully balanced polarity between yin and yang.